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[28 Jun 2010|04:08pm] |
i'm your late night evening prostitute
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[07 Jul 2009|05:23pm] |
i'm not even close to who i used to be.
i want out.
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[22 Feb 2009|02:34am] |
i love sleep
my life has a tendency
to fall apart when i'm awake.
- e. hemingway
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[18 Feb 2009|12:38am] |
i got pulled over on the pennsylvania turnpike
i had to eat a roach
thank god for grape flavored dutches.
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[28 Dec 2008|08:08pm] |
everything that happens is from now on.
this is pouring rain.
this is paralyzed.
whatever could it be
that has brought me to this loss?
-bon iver.
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[07 Dec 2008|11:34am] |
i honestly cannot differentiate my days anymore from all the drugs and alcohol. i forget everything. it's the xanax which i don't even really like. pain killers are harder to find but they're my favorite. so i settle because even if i don't really like how those pills make me feel, they make me feel different than when i'm sober and that's all i want. just a break.
my mother wants to divorce my father but for some reason he's still living here and we all walk around the house in silence when we all know we should be throwing dishes at each other or crying our eyes out. it's so awkward so i'm home almost never. my dad thinks i hate him. there are no tears in me these days. i feel emotionally numb for the first time in my life.
i snitched on my own father. for good reason but still. the guilt.
it's killing me.
someone stole 200 dollars from me.
or i lost it. i guess that's possible.
but i've been hanging around with shady people.
but that's what i mean. i couldn't even remember who i was with the other night or where.
not even the other night. for the past month. i have to find out from other people what i do. it's never been this bad before.
but i don't care. i don't care about what i'm doing to my body. let it die.
get me the fuck out of this.
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evening_train's journal